The Difficulty of Beginning again.

Throughout my life i have been a bit of a wandering hobo.



Surely I did not technically travel around the world or even country like a military family, or like the friends i have known. I did however choose to bounce from school to school not knowing anyone when I arrived at each new place.



Starting over can be pretty great. You can rebuild your personal story however you would like. The people around you are new and any mistakes that may have haunted you in the past cant be escaped at a new place. The people are knew and Mr. Socialite Josh cannot get enough of meeting random strangers.



The negative part of this lifestyle is that you fail to gain roots. You miss out on those friends in your neighborhood that you went to school with from 2 years old. I do not think you can ever get the connection others do when they have a certain amount of time together. This is one reason that my brother and I will always be best friends. No one can replace the amount of hours we have spent in our lifetime just being there. Our shared experiences are far too numerous to count. The connection that those experiences bring really give a shared connection that is unconquerable.



I struggled for a long time because I felt that I was missing this deep connection. What a silly boy I am.



This song "Youth" by the band Daughter dives into the idea that in our eternal search for love many of us "set fire in our insides" due to the empty "silhouette" we become without THAT ONE.



I just think we all need a good smack in the face sometimes. We all have so much! It is so easy to get into the compare game. To see someone out there that has one thing we are currently searching for, wanting or even needing. How many times though is that same person looking the very same way at us?



When it comes to relationships the stories most told are the beginning and the end. We are so infatuated with how we met and how it ends. The middle is a lost, forgotten, and skipped piece of history.



The freaking middle is everything though! It is what makes relationships of any kind worth it. Those fleeting moments when you actually get to be in the presence of another person. To share the same air of another is such a gift. Seeing what someone else sees and sharing their experiences gives you just that little bit more of a connection with another human being.



Each experience is unique and whether it is walking through a park on a sunny day holding hands with a lover, or its getting into a car accident with a stranger you just met, that is something you will always share with that human being. And to me that is pretty damn special.



So do not forget to smile today and take a second to realize how every one of these moments is special. Do not forget to share them with others.



Connect. Be a part of something. And as always Love.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

What a beautiful wedding.

The moon was so close, so red, and so very eclipsed on the night of romance dancing and vanilla ice remixes.

I just cannot help, but love weddings. This was the first wedding in a while where I really enjoyed myself. I think it is mostly because I was with my good friends. It is much easier to feel loved and escape that lonely feeling when surrounded by great people. My friend looked BEAUTIFUL and her hubby was a sexy man as well. They just both looked so freaking happy.....talk amongst yourselves I'm becoming verklempt.

One odd thing was that I did of course picture myself up there, but with a different bride. That sort of irked me, but i suppose its understandable. When you love someone I do think its one of those forever things. It may change in degrees of amplitude, but itll always be there. Oh LOVE!

The real topic I wanted to discuss today though was that of dancing. Now, I am by no means a good dancer. I do love to dance though. A wonderful young woman said to me as we danced "might as well take advantage of the fun they allow us to have at these things". I think that is a very accurate statement. Dancing is so much fun!!! I know some do not agree with that statement, but I think it is because too many people are self conscious. That has never really been a problem for me.

Dancing for me has be a romantic outlet for so freaking long. I am not exactly sure when this happened, but I can remember many instances. 

One time I stayed at a girlfriends house for thanksgiving. Day one of seven she decided to let me know she had been sleeping with her ex during our time together. I went out and danced at a gothic night club which really made me feel better. The way that you can just shake and move your body in a reckless wild way to attempt to express your inner angst is just cathartic. 

Anyways, I recommend going out there and just shaking it like a Polaroid picture. Give it a go and let it all go. 

I Can Hear the Bells

This weekend I am attending a wedding!



I absolutely love weddings. Good food, so many people, full night of dancing, and I get to dress up. These are all things I highly enjoy. The past few weddings that I have attended made me reflect on how great it shall be when I have my own wedding one day. No, I do not have my own secret wedding pinterest, but I have imagined my wedding a few too many times.



Anyways, this specific wedding has a few more levels of intrigue. Here comes the back story.



About five years ago (wow I cannot believe its been that long) I moved back home to Michigan from Boston. I left all of the friends I had made over the past four years and was for the most part friendless. After the first few lonely months my cousin invited me out to a bar trivia night. I jumped on the opportunity and had an amazing time. Eventually I found out that I was not invited for my peppy attitude and knowledge of random things, but instead to be "set up" with one of their friends.



Needless to say I failed....hard. I was too young and well yeah it doesn't really matter, but it just didn't work out. However it worked out extremely well! That group of trivia nerds has become my closest friends. Though I did not ever date the friend we became good friends ourselves and she is now getting married. Her fiance, soon to be husband and I have also become good friends even more so lately. I cannot even imagine what it would have been like to not be added to this group of wonderful people. Trivia night is still a thing (though not as consistently) along with board game nights, tailgates, and other sorts of debauchery.



So sure, I may not have found love quite yet. I may not have may wonderful partner to cuddle up with at night, hold hands with walking down the street, or lay next to while watching the starts, but I have some darn great friends.



So this weekend I will be celebrating my good friend's wedding and shaking my booty on the dance floor. It suppose it comes back to the fact that there are so many variations of love. The love of friends is a pretty important one. I just have to keep that piece of knowledge in the forefront of my mind.



Happy Thursday to all and rock on this weekend! Lets make the end of September a good one!

Going the Distance

"I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong."



The concept of belonging has been somewhat of a foreign one throughout my life. I have never really fit in anywhere.



I never followed friends from school to school. I didn't have neighborhood friends for long stretches of life. Even the friends I did make I always have felt like an outsider. A new addition that was never part of the inside jokes and didnt seem to be around for the memories each held dear.



I even feel distant from my family at times. Partially due to abandoning them during my college years, but mostly because I am just different. It is pretty easy for me to fit in anywhere. I have a somewhat chameleon type personality. I can mesh with most groups and find mindless chatter easy. I am happy enough to brighten even a downer group so I am normally accepted with open arms. The question becomes do I really "belong"



I am so grateful for my siblings who are my best friends. I couldn't ask for much more when it comes to those I have become close to over the years in Boston and Michigan. Even those I have dated who seem to know me so well bring a bit of sparkle to my life. I am just missing something. Deep down as Mr. Hercules says I just feel like an outsider too often in my own presence.



I am very happy in my own skin. I am happy being alone. I just would prefer to not feel so gosh darn lonely so often. Who knows if this is a me problem or an everyone problem. Maybe belonging is just a feeling sold to me by corporate America. Possibly I am looking for something that is too ideal or perfect. I just think its about time to jump back on my Pegasus and visit my good buddy Zeus. Roadtrip? Eurotrip? We shall see, but I guess that is what makes life so much fun. You never know what awaits you around the next corner. As long as you keep on looking there is always something new and a bit more hope to hang on to.

Rising Out of the Dust

“Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



Today's world we are sold on change. Our nearly former president won an entire campaign on that premise. Our daily lives are filled with the idea that we can and should change who we are. So I am here to tell you that its all a lie. I am sorry, but you are who you are.



However, do not lose hope! I still believe you can change, but just in a different way than you may think. So here are my steps to making the most of yourself.



Step one to this change is probably the most difficult of all. SELF EVALUATION. Since we are unable to really change what makes us we have to recognize what cards we are playing with. What attributes we have both positively and negatively. This is so difficult for three reasons. It is difficult to "find the time" to just sit back and really reflect. With technology and the busy lifestyles that we lead it is just hard to take that time. Once we do take the time most people are either over critical or under critical in this evaluation. No one is perfect. We all have flaws so find them! Though you have flaws there are some positives in you as well so do not forget to find those as well.



Step two is pretty simple. Now that we know what our strengths and weaknesses are we need to learn to exploit them. How can you put yourself in a situation in frequently use your strengths and hide or push to the side your negative attributes. Personally I am a lazy S.O.B. If i am given the opportunity I will sit back on my laurels. That is why when I am the most busy I am at my best. If i do not give myself the chance to be lazy then I allow for my attributes of competitiveness and problem solving to shine through.



Besides being more successful by living this way I think it is a true key to happiness. When I give in to my weaker traits I seem to get stuck in a rut. I seem to be sad more often and hide away in my own self pity. When I am acting on my positive traits I am happier and really giving off happy energy to those around me.



We all have different strengths. Look at some of the most successful people in the world. Most have plenty of flaws. How may billionaires couldn't even finish school? How many saints and martyrs that you read about were not good people for most of their lives. It is never too late to change. It is never too late to become a better you.



So today, do what you are good at and share that gift that is you with others. Be a diamond and rise out of the dust.

Newton's Third Law of Motion

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.



When Isaac Newton came up with this law he was referring to physical forces acting upon one another. My. Newton at the time did not realize how his law was oh too true when it comes to our interactions with each other.



I was told an incredibly sad story the other day from a stranger I had just met. Though sad, it is a great example of my point. It goes as such.....





 A boy decided to rebuild an old motorcycle with his father. They decided it would be a great father son bonding experience. The bike was completed and ran like a dream. The son decided to take it for a ride to complete a few errands. On his way the bike stalled out at a stop light. When it turned green he attempted to kickstart the bike. As he did so another car failed to see him and ran the boy over. The driver of the other vehicle was not drunk, high, or on their cell phone. They simply did not see him. This person I met saw this accident came out of their car to help the boy. He described the scene to me in gory detail. There was nothing that could be done and the boy died in his arms.





This may be an extreme example, but each of those people had an extreme effect on the lives of each other. The boy's image will forever be burned into the minds of those left behind at that scene. The father I am sure will have regrets about building that bike. The driver will wonder why he didn't see him.





Our day to day lives are just like this without the necessary tragedy. Each interaction we have with others has some sort of effect no matter how small. Think about simple things like when someone holds the door open for you, or in another case doesn't even look and shuts that same door in your face. Imagine the times when a stranger has said hello, or a waitress has been pleasant to you. These little minuscule interactions can impact our mood, thoughts, and how our day will be lived out.





Yes, when it comes down to it we are in charge of and responsible for how we act and feel. I will never claim that it is ok to simply let others ruin your day or to single handedly make it a better one. What I will claim, however, is next time you want to take out your bad attitude on a struggling waiter, or take out your bad work review on that annoying telemarketer just remember that what you say does have an effect. So sure maybe you wont change the world with a smile and heart felt hello, but it sure can't hurt. Who knows what sort of changes we make with our every day actions, but one thing is certain.



What you do today will not only change your own destiny, but those around you.

In MY Mind

I think this is a fitting title to start off my BLOG.





I really wanted to make something to spit out all of the nonsense that takes place in my mind throughout the day. I am known as Mr. optimism himself and even I would like to have some sort of account as to why.



Last night before I went to be I played a few bits of music and ran into this lovely piece that I have not heard in a while. The song. titled "in my mind", is a wonderfully simplistic piece of art that really explains my own daily struggle with life. I feel like many will be able to relate.



The song basically goes on saying that I have so many ideas of who I want to be. I have an ideal self that I am always striving for. Goals are an amazing thing and betterment is a wonderful attribute to hold dearly. I think the problem lies in that in the search for betterment it is easy to put down one's current state of being.



Sure I would love to do just a bit more, be more active, more in shape, more loving, and just overall a better person. But guess what, I am not. I am me and really thats ok. Sure I have goals and things in life to shoot for, but I am the choices I make. If i really want to be a great runner again then guess what, I need to go run more! If i choose not to then I have other priorities. That's not a bad thing as long as those priorities are something you can be proud of or bring you enjoyment.



There are only so many days we have on this earth. I can promise myself one thing, that I will make each one count. So if that means skipping a run because I want to play a stupid video game with my brother, or develop my own board game because I am a super nerd then so be it.



I don't think ill ever accomplish everything I want or ever live up to the golden standard I have tried to set for myself, but I will remember that each and every action is my choice. "I am exactly the person that I want to be." That is power. You control your destiny and that is something that cannot be forgotten.





Dont forget to smile and enjoy the song!