Going the Distance

"I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong."



The concept of belonging has been somewhat of a foreign one throughout my life. I have never really fit in anywhere.



I never followed friends from school to school. I didn't have neighborhood friends for long stretches of life. Even the friends I did make I always have felt like an outsider. A new addition that was never part of the inside jokes and didnt seem to be around for the memories each held dear.



I even feel distant from my family at times. Partially due to abandoning them during my college years, but mostly because I am just different. It is pretty easy for me to fit in anywhere. I have a somewhat chameleon type personality. I can mesh with most groups and find mindless chatter easy. I am happy enough to brighten even a downer group so I am normally accepted with open arms. The question becomes do I really "belong"



I am so grateful for my siblings who are my best friends. I couldn't ask for much more when it comes to those I have become close to over the years in Boston and Michigan. Even those I have dated who seem to know me so well bring a bit of sparkle to my life. I am just missing something. Deep down as Mr. Hercules says I just feel like an outsider too often in my own presence.



I am very happy in my own skin. I am happy being alone. I just would prefer to not feel so gosh darn lonely so often. Who knows if this is a me problem or an everyone problem. Maybe belonging is just a feeling sold to me by corporate America. Possibly I am looking for something that is too ideal or perfect. I just think its about time to jump back on my Pegasus and visit my good buddy Zeus. Roadtrip? Eurotrip? We shall see, but I guess that is what makes life so much fun. You never know what awaits you around the next corner. As long as you keep on looking there is always something new and a bit more hope to hang on to.